A1 Secrets: ielts preparation english with Ex-MOE Examiner's Annotations

The "Visualized" Model Answer: Academic Writing Task 2 Walkthrough 📝

Prompt: Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect and other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The question of how to effectively bolster public health has sparked intense debate. While proponents argue that a proliferation of sports infrastructure is the primary catalyst for a healthier society, skeptics maintain that such a strategy is superficial without broader systemic changes. In my view, while facilities are beneficial, they are merely a single component of a much more multifaceted solution.

Advocates for increasing sports facilities believe that accessibility is the greatest barrier to physical activity. They argue that when people are surrounded by pristine running tracks, shimmering swimming pools, and state-of-the-art gymnasiums, the psychological "friction" to exercise is removed. For instance, in urban centers where concrete jungles often squeeze out green spaces, providing a dedicated area for movement can incentivize a sedentary population to engage in cardiovascular health. From this perspective, the physical presence of a facility serves as a constant, visual reminder to prioritize one's well-being.

However, the counter-argument suggests that the "build it and they will come" philosophy is a fallacy. Public health is deeply entrenched in dietary habits and socioeconomic factors. A person working three jobs to make ends meet will not have the luxury of time to utilize a luxury sports complex, regardless of its proximity. Furthermore, the modern diet is saturated with ultra-processed foods that act as a slow-acting poison on the general population. Without strict regulations on sugar content and aggressive public education campaigns, new stadiums will remain hollow monuments in a society still struggling with rising obesity rates. Thus, the Plot Development of a health crisis cannot be reversed by infrastructure alone; it requires a legislative overhaul of the food industry.

In my opinion, the most effective approach is a hybrid model. We must acknowledge that sports facilities are conducive to health, but they must be paired with substantive fiscal policies. For example, taxing high-sugar beverages and using that revenue to subsidize gym memberships for lower-income families would create an equitable health ecosystem. This ensures that the onus of health is shared between the individual and the state, rather than placing the entire burden on the provision of physical buildings.

Ultimately, while sports facilities play a role in encouraging an active lifestyle, they are not a panacea for public health woes. A truly healthy nation is built on the confluence of accessible infrastructure, nutritional literacy, and robust government intervention. 💡

The Mark Scheme Decoder 📈

The "Singapore Trap" 🇸🇬

❌ Warning: The "Cheem Word" Misuse A common mistake in ielts preparation english in Singapore is the "Dictionary Dump." Students often use words like "Indubitably" or "Juxtaposition" in contexts where they don't fit, simply because the words look "cheem" (complex).

💡 Insider Tip: Examiners penalize "robotic" vocabulary. If the word doesn't fit the collocations of the sentence, you will lose marks for Lexical Resource. Also, watch out for "Singlish" sentence endings or the unnecessary use of "actually" and "already" in formal writing.

Step-by-Step Rewrite Drill 🔄

Band 3 Paragraph (Bad): "I think sports facilities are good. People can go there to exercise and get healthy. But some people are too busy to go. Also, food is a big problem. Many people eat junk food and get fat. So, just building gyms is not enough to help everyone."

Band 1 Paragraph (Good): "While the provision of sports infrastructure is undoubtedly beneficial, its efficacy is often undermined by the modern reality of time-poverty. For the working class, the proximity of a gymnasium is irrelevant if their schedule is constrained by long labor hours. Moreover, the public health crisis is exacerbated by the ubiquity of caloric-dense, nutrient-poor diets. Consequently, infrastructure alone cannot rectify deep-seated health issues without addressing the underlying nutritional and economic barriers."

The Changes Explained: In the rewrite, we replaced simple verbs like "is good" and "is a problem" with high-impact Band 1 Vocabulary such as "undermined," "exacerbated," and "rectify." We shifted from personal pronouns ("I think") to an objective, academic stance. The Sentence Structure was upgraded from short, choppy sentences to flowing, complex structures using "Moreover" and "Consequently" to link ideas. This transition moves the text from a basic recount to a sophisticated evaluation, which is exactly what an examiner looks for to award a distinction. 💡

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